As you may know, I love talking and writing about music, but my main "job" is to perform, guitar and vocals, in pubs, private events, or in general, whoever pays me. I play mainly classic rock from any era (based on where I am and what people I have in front) and sometimes I squeeze in some originals as well.
Almost every night is different, there are fun nights, neutral nights and annoying nights, which depend 90% on the people. The remaining 10% depends on the acoustic or other possible technical issues. But let's focus on people, as explaining technical issues, feedback, and natural reverb may not be very interesting to read. Who wants to know about broken strings, guitar tunings, or faulty speakers, right?
One category of people that always intrigues me is "let me play/sing, I'm good!". I used to trust this category, usually coming to me during my break and approaching me with sentences like "I've been playing in pubs for 20 years, we can play this song together". The reality is that they are terrible, in most cases. I remember one guy who wanted to sing Come as You Are, by Nirvana. He was convinced he was good. I asked him 5 times. "Are you sure?" "Yes". For some reason, I wasn't convinced, so I asked him to sing the first verse, in my ear, before I started the riff on the speakers for the audience. Then he told me he had never heard the song before; he just knew the title, and he was ready to improvise, reading the lyrics on his phone (showing me the lyrics, ready).
One thing that always amazes me is when people decide to have a chat with their friends, right next to me despite the space available. Sometimes, so close to my guitar that I move it and touch the people in question to let them understand that it's dangerous (for both parties). They say sorry, but most of the time, they're not gonna move by a centimeter. I increase the volume, they speak even louder, but not gonna move. I send them evil looks. Still, not a chance. Sometimes I ask to move a bit. They move for 5 minutes, and then progressively come back.
Lots of people think that, just because you play and sing, you automatically know the entire music catalogue. They ask for a song, and you should be able to replicate it immediately. If you tell them that you don't know the song in question, they hum it, and they show you the lyrics on their phone and for them, that's it, you are now able to play the song. Once you tell them that you need to know the song to perform it, they look at you with some disdain or, even better, they say "play it anyway" (believe me, they say that). Persisting in my "no", one person even told me once, "What kind of performer are you?".
Speaking of requests, one annoying category is when someone wants a certain song and insists on hearing it immediately. "I'll play it in a bit," I say, smiling, but they insist on "now." But I'll let you know more about people and requests in the next episode, if you are interested in hearing more...